so I just met this amazing guy and we have really great chemistry together, but I just found out by one of his friend's that he's in a long distance relationship. So I have kinda been avoiding him so that I don't flirt and what not. I don't want to ruin his relationship that he's had for a year, but I really like him. Any advice? Oh and is it true that long distance relationships don't work out? thanx again.I really like this guy, but he's in a long distance relationship. I need some advice! help!?
I think it's very mature and respectful of you to back off knowing that he's in a relationship. :) With that said, I wouldn't try anything because he's still with his girlfriend. Be respectful of their relationship. You can still be friends, but you'd have to keep your distance and know your limits.
And no, long distance relationships definitely do work. They are just different and require an extra degree of trust, communication, and work, among other things.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Nedd advice on a long distance relationship?
I have known this man for 7 yrs now he lives in another country.
he claimed to love me and wanted to marry me%26gt; but like two weeks ago he just quit writing me after we had a chat session%26gt; after i told him i would not help him with geting a visa to the usa and i would not ask my family to help with this.
then he wrote to me again and somehow he had found a post where i had asked a question on yahoo. if anyone knew him%26gt; and he seen it and sent it to me.he then told me that was not his real name%26gt; he said think god you didnt know my real name.
i have tryed contacting him to just see if he would answer back
and he hasnt so for%26gt; i feel he has made a fool out of me after seven yrs%26gt; he has done this before and showed back up. and dum me let him by with it.i feel angery and hurt but%26gt; i feel like geting even with him%26gt; any advice would do on this please help?Nedd advice on a long distance relationship?
Many men from poor developing countries are anxious to get away from the poverty back home.
Consequently, they get online and find a girl that's anxious to find a man. They pretend to fall in love and say sweet stuff to her.
She grins from ear to ear. Never has anyone treated her with such amazing kindness!
Then they promise to marry her. And treat her like a woman deserves to be treated . . . like a queen.
She's ecstatic!
Once they have won her confidence, they begin to make demands.
One of the demands they will make is that she should get them a visa to the U.S. or the country of her residence so they can get married.
Once she does that and they get to the U.S., they disappear.
You're lucky to have decided not participate in the marriage fraud attempt by this guy.
Should you hurt him?
Sounds like a good idea on the outside. But in the long run, you will be hurting yourself because you will end up spending valuable time on scheming his demise.
That won't make you eternally happy.
Read more about marriage fraud at . . .Nedd advice on a long distance relationship?
I am sorry to say it but long distance relationship usually dont work i know 1st hand. its tough but you have to let go.
Long distant relationships never work out. You never know what or who they are doing. Find someone local.
After seven years, you don't know his real name? x_X
I've heard of another incident where a woman left a man simply 'cause he wouldn't help her get a visa into the USA. =/
Getting even at him, won't do anything helpful. You might as well ask him if there's anything you can do to help him besides getting the visa. You must have a good reason to not help this man, right? Even if he said he wanted to marry you.
I'd leave it alone, and find someone new. LDR's are hard enough without there being ill-will on either side, especially if they have continued for 7 years.
Sounds like he was using you for a visa.
Find someone who wants you for you.coupons moon drops
he claimed to love me and wanted to marry me%26gt; but like two weeks ago he just quit writing me after we had a chat session%26gt; after i told him i would not help him with geting a visa to the usa and i would not ask my family to help with this.
then he wrote to me again and somehow he had found a post where i had asked a question on yahoo. if anyone knew him%26gt; and he seen it and sent it to me.he then told me that was not his real name%26gt; he said think god you didnt know my real name.
i have tryed contacting him to just see if he would answer back
and he hasnt so for%26gt; i feel he has made a fool out of me after seven yrs%26gt; he has done this before and showed back up. and dum me let him by with it.i feel angery and hurt but%26gt; i feel like geting even with him%26gt; any advice would do on this please help?Nedd advice on a long distance relationship?
Many men from poor developing countries are anxious to get away from the poverty back home.
Consequently, they get online and find a girl that's anxious to find a man. They pretend to fall in love and say sweet stuff to her.
She grins from ear to ear. Never has anyone treated her with such amazing kindness!
Then they promise to marry her. And treat her like a woman deserves to be treated . . . like a queen.
She's ecstatic!
Once they have won her confidence, they begin to make demands.
One of the demands they will make is that she should get them a visa to the U.S. or the country of her residence so they can get married.
Once she does that and they get to the U.S., they disappear.
You're lucky to have decided not participate in the marriage fraud attempt by this guy.
Should you hurt him?
Sounds like a good idea on the outside. But in the long run, you will be hurting yourself because you will end up spending valuable time on scheming his demise.
That won't make you eternally happy.
Read more about marriage fraud at . . .Nedd advice on a long distance relationship?
I am sorry to say it but long distance relationship usually dont work i know 1st hand. its tough but you have to let go.
Long distant relationships never work out. You never know what or who they are doing. Find someone local.
After seven years, you don't know his real name? x_X
I've heard of another incident where a woman left a man simply 'cause he wouldn't help her get a visa into the USA. =/
Getting even at him, won't do anything helpful. You might as well ask him if there's anything you can do to help him besides getting the visa. You must have a good reason to not help this man, right? Even if he said he wanted to marry you.
I'd leave it alone, and find someone new. LDR's are hard enough without there being ill-will on either side, especially if they have continued for 7 years.
Sounds like he was using you for a visa.
Find someone who wants you for you.
Is a long distance relationship (1300 miles) possible mainly through e mails and phone calls? Any advice?
i did it with a girl in china, but i can afford it. if you can trust each other and be faithfull and make arrangments to meet on occasion then of course it can work. both should get skype cams. phone calls would not cost you at all as well as emailing each other often. i married my china doll and is the best thing i ever did.Is a long distance relationship (1300 miles) possible mainly through e mails and phone calls? Any advice?
Distance really shouldn't be used as a measure of the likelihood of a relationship working or failing, because it isn't.
I suggest you talk as often as possible, try for at least every second day, and have good topics to discuss. You should discuss what happened in your days, etc. but you should also discuss other issues. Get a topic to discuss, e.g. a tv program you both enjoy, or a book you've both read. You should also aim to discuss more important issues, like your fears, desires and future plans. If you're in a normal relationship, this kind of discussion will come normal. If you're long distance, you have to focus to make it work.
The better your communication, the more you will trust each other, and the easier it will be for you to commit to each other. Communication, commitment and trust are the three pillars of a long distance relationship. Work on those 3 and you'll be fine.
You should still try and see each other as often as possible. I'm not going to give you a time limit like ';every four weeks';, etc. Figure out what you can afford to do and plan your life around it. Friends of mine only managed to see each other every 3 months for over a year, and it worked out fine for them. We personally tried for every 4-6 weeks (usually only for a weekend).Is a long distance relationship (1300 miles) possible mainly through e mails and phone calls? Any advice?
its nothing harm in long distance relationship, as long as you both are having good and proper understanding for eachother. Trust, love %26amp; carings are the main key features for this type of relations....
Its nothing harm at all........ You should carry on with this if u are involve with someone. Good luck %26amp; God bless you.
It's not impossible, but not advisable.
Long distant relations do not have physical contact and that is the downfall for most who try to challenge it.
its so boring am tellin you..no kisses,no hugs just empty memories of how happy you used to be.........
Distance really shouldn't be used as a measure of the likelihood of a relationship working or failing, because it isn't.
I suggest you talk as often as possible, try for at least every second day, and have good topics to discuss. You should discuss what happened in your days, etc. but you should also discuss other issues. Get a topic to discuss, e.g. a tv program you both enjoy, or a book you've both read. You should also aim to discuss more important issues, like your fears, desires and future plans. If you're in a normal relationship, this kind of discussion will come normal. If you're long distance, you have to focus to make it work.
The better your communication, the more you will trust each other, and the easier it will be for you to commit to each other. Communication, commitment and trust are the three pillars of a long distance relationship. Work on those 3 and you'll be fine.
You should still try and see each other as often as possible. I'm not going to give you a time limit like ';every four weeks';, etc. Figure out what you can afford to do and plan your life around it. Friends of mine only managed to see each other every 3 months for over a year, and it worked out fine for them. We personally tried for every 4-6 weeks (usually only for a weekend).Is a long distance relationship (1300 miles) possible mainly through e mails and phone calls? Any advice?
its nothing harm in long distance relationship, as long as you both are having good and proper understanding for eachother. Trust, love %26amp; carings are the main key features for this type of relations....
Its nothing harm at all........ You should carry on with this if u are involve with someone. Good luck %26amp; God bless you.
It's not impossible, but not advisable.
Long distant relations do not have physical contact and that is the downfall for most who try to challenge it.
its so boring am tellin you..no kisses,no hugs just empty memories of how happy you used to be.........
Can long distance relationships work? i'm in a situation where i don't know if i want to go for it. advice ?
my best friend introduced me to one of her closest cousins a few months ago. since then, he and i have clicked. we talk about life, love, relationships, anything to make the conversation going. he even wrote a love song for me, which is a first timer for him because he has never wrote a love song for anyone, even his exes. it was mostly based on breakups. even my best friend told me he's telling the truth because they talked about it a few times. i received a msg from him, asying that he wants to ask me an important question that he hopes would make both of us happy. some i asked have said he may ask me out, but the thing is, he lives about 300 miles from me, though we live in the same state. i want to go for it, but i'm scared of the outcome, knowing that i have fallen for him already. any advice? i can surely need it at this point.Can long distance relationships work? i'm in a situation where i don't know if i want to go for it. advice ?
They can work, but they are really really hard. You both need to put 100% in it and fully realize that you need to trust each other. It is easy the first few months, but you wil lsee everyone around you with there partners and everything will remind you of him. It is going to make you bitter, mad, and jealous. The times you have together will be sweet, but going your seperate ways will be twice as hard.
If you love him and he loves you, then go for it. make it work for you.Can long distance relationships work? i'm in a situation where i don't know if i want to go for it. advice ?
on;y way it can work is if you both have the resources to travel back and forth to see each other. without the ability to do that,your visits tend to be rare and that does not make for a good relationship. in order to have a healthy relationship you need to know each other in person
If you are younger than 16 I would just keep this guy as a conversational friend and not try to persue any other kind of relationship. Long distance is hard enough on people with jobs and driver's licenses - and even then they usually don't work out. If you and this guy really have a connection, just stay in touch and wait - you never know what conditions may change. Tying yourself down to someone who is far away can severely mess up your social life, and may cause you to miss out on things you will regret missing later on.
鈾?I think that if you both want it to work then it can. I was in a long distance relationship with my fiace before I moved a state away to be with her. It was hard, especially when I was upset or something happened in my family... but we got through it. She visited me as often as she possibly could and we burned up our cell phone %26amp; txt messaging bills, etc. You both have to sit down %26amp; decide which risks you are both willing to take... it can work but only if ya'll want it to. Good Luck!
honestly hun, follow your heart,
it does not matter what is right or what is wrong ok all you remember is
what would happen if you never followed your heart would you regret it!!!! i think you would
well i think it depends on how many times you see or talk to each other. well in my opinion don't do it.
Ok -- I'll be honest, my boyfriend %26amp; I have been together for 5 monthes now, and we live 35minutes away from one another - even then it's hard to see each other w| school, and work.. We've managed right now, but sometimes we go all wk without seeing one another. Sooo....going 300 miles would be a lot!
GOOD LUCK!~
yea
give it a shot and if it doesnt work ........
well at least you'll know.
It only works if the time apart is for a short while. If there is not a serious discussion relatively soon as to who will move (either you to him, or him to you), then let it go. Others will tell you different, and I am sure there are some rare stories of prolonged seperations where everything ends up ';magical'; in the end - But that is very rare.
Also, it depends on your age, both chronologically and your true mental age. If you are real young -let it go. Either way, it will all work out in the end -one way or another. Good luck.
They can definately work out as long as both of you put everything into it. I was in a long distance relationship for a long time and she ended up moving in with me and now we are engaged set to be married next year. There just needs to be 100% from both of you and everything will work out fine. And, move closer to each other soon, Don't make it long distance forever.
first know if both of you are in the right age and fully understand what love is, for the outcome still rely on both of your understanding's, neither do i'am in your kind a situation, what we do is we always keep in touch through what ever gadgets we have and trust... though its hard, we always come up to a way where we can set a schedule for us to meet in a place, doesn't matter weather i go to a country where she was or the place where i am...
honestly NO i dont think so because you neva know what that person is doing and being honest with u
my cousin has been dating a guy 2yrs long distance. She is in new york and he is in maryland. Things are great she says u get 2 know each other on a different level, and u get more creative. U never knoww till u try.
yes they can work. My sister has been in college in Kentucky for 4 years, while her fiance has been here in missouri. And they are going to get married when she graduates this summer. Its stressful, but you can do it. It takes ALOT of hard work, trust, commitment, patience, and a million other things. It wont be easy, but if you love this guy, and think your meant for eachother, then go for it! Everything happens for a reason, and whether positive or negative things have a way of working themselves out for the better in the long run. Good luck!
They can work, but they are really really hard. You both need to put 100% in it and fully realize that you need to trust each other. It is easy the first few months, but you wil lsee everyone around you with there partners and everything will remind you of him. It is going to make you bitter, mad, and jealous. The times you have together will be sweet, but going your seperate ways will be twice as hard.
If you love him and he loves you, then go for it. make it work for you.Can long distance relationships work? i'm in a situation where i don't know if i want to go for it. advice ?
on;y way it can work is if you both have the resources to travel back and forth to see each other. without the ability to do that,your visits tend to be rare and that does not make for a good relationship. in order to have a healthy relationship you need to know each other in person
If you are younger than 16 I would just keep this guy as a conversational friend and not try to persue any other kind of relationship. Long distance is hard enough on people with jobs and driver's licenses - and even then they usually don't work out. If you and this guy really have a connection, just stay in touch and wait - you never know what conditions may change. Tying yourself down to someone who is far away can severely mess up your social life, and may cause you to miss out on things you will regret missing later on.
鈾?I think that if you both want it to work then it can. I was in a long distance relationship with my fiace before I moved a state away to be with her. It was hard, especially when I was upset or something happened in my family... but we got through it. She visited me as often as she possibly could and we burned up our cell phone %26amp; txt messaging bills, etc. You both have to sit down %26amp; decide which risks you are both willing to take... it can work but only if ya'll want it to. Good Luck!
honestly hun, follow your heart,
it does not matter what is right or what is wrong ok all you remember is
what would happen if you never followed your heart would you regret it!!!! i think you would
well i think it depends on how many times you see or talk to each other. well in my opinion don't do it.
Ok -- I'll be honest, my boyfriend %26amp; I have been together for 5 monthes now, and we live 35minutes away from one another - even then it's hard to see each other w| school, and work.. We've managed right now, but sometimes we go all wk without seeing one another. Sooo....going 300 miles would be a lot!
GOOD LUCK!~
yea
give it a shot and if it doesnt work ........
well at least you'll know.
It only works if the time apart is for a short while. If there is not a serious discussion relatively soon as to who will move (either you to him, or him to you), then let it go. Others will tell you different, and I am sure there are some rare stories of prolonged seperations where everything ends up ';magical'; in the end - But that is very rare.
Also, it depends on your age, both chronologically and your true mental age. If you are real young -let it go. Either way, it will all work out in the end -one way or another. Good luck.
They can definately work out as long as both of you put everything into it. I was in a long distance relationship for a long time and she ended up moving in with me and now we are engaged set to be married next year. There just needs to be 100% from both of you and everything will work out fine. And, move closer to each other soon, Don't make it long distance forever.
first know if both of you are in the right age and fully understand what love is, for the outcome still rely on both of your understanding's, neither do i'am in your kind a situation, what we do is we always keep in touch through what ever gadgets we have and trust... though its hard, we always come up to a way where we can set a schedule for us to meet in a place, doesn't matter weather i go to a country where she was or the place where i am...
honestly NO i dont think so because you neva know what that person is doing and being honest with u
my cousin has been dating a guy 2yrs long distance. She is in new york and he is in maryland. Things are great she says u get 2 know each other on a different level, and u get more creative. U never knoww till u try.
yes they can work. My sister has been in college in Kentucky for 4 years, while her fiance has been here in missouri. And they are going to get married when she graduates this summer. Its stressful, but you can do it. It takes ALOT of hard work, trust, commitment, patience, and a million other things. It wont be easy, but if you love this guy, and think your meant for eachother, then go for it! Everything happens for a reason, and whether positive or negative things have a way of working themselves out for the better in the long run. Good luck!
What do you think I should do, Long distance relationship question? Please advice!?
He said he'll write later , should I wait or send him an email if he hasn't write?
He's pretty busy, just came back from a business trip and he send me an email asking how I was, so I shortly replied and then he commented but said he was sorry for writing that short email but he was very busy and that'll write later.
well that was almost a week ago. Should I wait or write to him in a couple of days more?What do you think I should do, Long distance relationship question? Please advice!?
ggive him a couple of days to write back
i know it kills me too to know about my love but i wait for him to write me.
that way he knows that he has his space.you don't wanna be too clingy and (no offense) writing him too much seems clingy.
if he doesnt write back in like 4 days then write him just casually don't bring up the old email or demand to know why he didn't write you.
just write something like
hey baby.what's up
something casual
hope i helped
%26lt;3Cesar's baby%26lt;3What do you think I should do, Long distance relationship question? Please advice!?
Best of luck with your relationship! I hope it all goes really well for you! Iwould wait for him to mail. I agree with the person above, you don't want to sound too clingy, maybe you should give it a couple more days. But, he shouldn't really make excuses about being too busy because he should always find time for loved ones, even if it is at 4am...
Wait a while and in the mean time make yourself busy so that time goes quicker.. Patience is very hard, but I think that you should think it through why he's making you wait.. What kind of person he is finding excuses.. All the best! x
almost a week ago??girl, i am sure he has a couple minutes to check his e-mail and write you back no matter how busy he is..you should write him today not a couple of days its been almost a week there is nothing wrong with writing him now.
Long distance relationships never work. Besides its something more going on if he loved and cared about you he would call you before he goes to sleep. You're the last thing on his mind. Sorry but its true. You should end it now it will save you the heart break.
If he's really busy, give it another week. I agree though; long-distance relationships won't work, unless you're older and mature enough to wait. Go on with your life until you hear back from him.
Sump'm fishy goin' on, girl... I think he's found other ';pursuits.'; I'd say goodbye and find someone closer...
He's pretty busy, just came back from a business trip and he send me an email asking how I was, so I shortly replied and then he commented but said he was sorry for writing that short email but he was very busy and that'll write later.
well that was almost a week ago. Should I wait or write to him in a couple of days more?What do you think I should do, Long distance relationship question? Please advice!?
ggive him a couple of days to write back
i know it kills me too to know about my love but i wait for him to write me.
that way he knows that he has his space.you don't wanna be too clingy and (no offense) writing him too much seems clingy.
if he doesnt write back in like 4 days then write him just casually don't bring up the old email or demand to know why he didn't write you.
just write something like
hey baby.what's up
something casual
hope i helped
%26lt;3Cesar's baby%26lt;3What do you think I should do, Long distance relationship question? Please advice!?
Best of luck with your relationship! I hope it all goes really well for you! Iwould wait for him to mail. I agree with the person above, you don't want to sound too clingy, maybe you should give it a couple more days. But, he shouldn't really make excuses about being too busy because he should always find time for loved ones, even if it is at 4am...
Wait a while and in the mean time make yourself busy so that time goes quicker.. Patience is very hard, but I think that you should think it through why he's making you wait.. What kind of person he is finding excuses.. All the best! x
almost a week ago??girl, i am sure he has a couple minutes to check his e-mail and write you back no matter how busy he is..you should write him today not a couple of days its been almost a week there is nothing wrong with writing him now.
Long distance relationships never work. Besides its something more going on if he loved and cared about you he would call you before he goes to sleep. You're the last thing on his mind. Sorry but its true. You should end it now it will save you the heart break.
If he's really busy, give it another week. I agree though; long-distance relationships won't work, unless you're older and mature enough to wait. Go on with your life until you hear back from him.
Sump'm fishy goin' on, girl... I think he's found other ';pursuits.'; I'd say goodbye and find someone closer...
Thank you for your advice about my long distance relationship.?
I would like to thank people who supported me on my long distance relationship. I have become more confident and trusting. I no longer want to become insecure or overprotective. I no longer want to say things I don't mean, when I can't control my emotions. I no longer want to be needy. I am confident, secure, supportive, controlled emotionally, and understanding. I will not assume things and accuse the people I love for random negativity that don't exist. Thank you all I have been finally cure from myself.Thank you for your advice about my long distance relationship.?
You are so welcome. Thats what we are here for!!!
You are so welcome. Thats what we are here for!!!
I'm 18 and in a long distance relationship...preferable guy advice but girls are welcome too?
Me and my boyfriend are both 18. He moved far away at the end of my senior yr but we decided to stay together. He's my first boyfriend, he's all I know. When he's here everything is fine..as long as we don't talk about our problems I can see it all over his face that he does not EVER wanna talk about our problems. But when he leaves, and we argue and brings them up just to hurt my feelings. (I'm not assuming he actually told me he was trying to hurt my feelings) He has now resorted to almost never calling me, he never tells me anything, and we barely text. I told him I think about him all the time and he said he doesn't think about me at all b/c it hurts too much. When it all comes down to it, he tells me he loves me and doesn't want to break up. Our problems bother him (the other night he said he doesn't know me anymore and I don't know him) but he won't talk about them. Sometimes I think it's me. I even feel stupid right now for asking advice on the internet, but sometimes an outside opinion can help right? Can someone help me understand what I'm supposed to do?I'm 18 and in a long distance relationship...preferable guy advice but girls are welcome too?
A lot of men use avoidance, it is a natural defense mechanism. But by not talking about your problems, it seems like you two are only putting a band aide on the problem, which easily comes off when he goes away. He probably doesn't want to spend the little bit of time he has with you in person fighting... after all, I am sure you both anticipate seeing one another after being apart so why ruin the moment? however... even though you are happy, the problems are going to keep coming back up if you don't find a way to resolve them. I can't tell you how to resolve your relationship problems, nor do I know what they are.
Another issue it sounds like you are having is that you are over-analyzing the relationship and it's feelings so much that you are clouding who you are and the person your boyfriend came to love. I know that it's tough when you love someone.... you are paranoid that anything you do or say could ruin it... you love someone so much you are terrified to lose them. It sounds like you could use a break from carrying all of the weight of the relationship's problems. Talk about this with him... let him know that you feel like you worry about the relationship too much and apologize for creating a lot of drama. I realize that it's a two way street and he probably has made mistakes as well... but it takes a strong person to stand up and admit their own faults and it usually results in opening a door for the other person to confess their own doings.... I am not guaranteeing that you will get an apology in return, but at least he would see that you are making efforts to get back to being more relaxed and carefree about the relationship. Men love consistency and calmness in a relationship just as much as women do. If a relationship is going to work out long term, it is going to take a lot of love, forgiveness and an open heart and mind. When he talks, try not to cloud your ears with emotions and really listen and take in the information THEN process it. It's so hard to do but practicing being a good listener and patient communicator will make you a better partner and you will find it easier to get to the root of your problems together.
Next time the old problems come up, try and approach it in a new way instead of the usual arguing or hurting one each others feelings. Tell him that you would like to understand where he is coming from and help to sooth the pains that he has with the problems rather than pointing fingers at one another anymore. Be super calm and loving when you approach him and try not to re-hash things too much. Show him a positive attitude towards things getting better because a relationship that lacks optimism is often times going to get stuck in ruts... Take a step back from this and take some time for yourself. Take up some new hobbies, yoga, sports, swimming, anything relaxing you can share with some friends. Taking time for yourself will help your stress levels and assist in your calmness about the relationship as well as give you new stuff to talk about with him. Men are attracted to women that are outgoing, social and have stuff going on in their lives.... get a new makeover to help boost your self confidence and shoot him some pretty pics of yourself. You could hold up a sign in the pic that says ';can't wait until you come home!!!'; on top of having a new sexy look.... that will really get his attention back on you rather than stuck in ';I don't know you anymore'; land.....
When you try to control your relationship too much, it can get out of control and you can lose your sense of self. Try to relax and collect some new, positive thoughts about recovering with your beau and getting back to the love you two have shared all along. :) good luck sweety...... things should start to look up when he gets home... long distance relationships are straining!!!I'm 18 and in a long distance relationship...preferable guy advice but girls are welcome too?
Well your boyfriend is moody.
I reckon your better off without him.. you need someone that will treat you much better than that.
It seems like your a pile of shite to him.
Hi. My first long term relationship was similar, except we were a bit older and he had to move away for 2 years. And I think I reacted much as your bf, because we only got to see each other one weekend every month or two, and I felt this big pressure for it to be perfect. If had cramps, tough - I had to be on my A Game! If I was bothered by work crap, tough...why waste our together time whining? So I couldn't be natural.
And I think what's happening is natural. You guys never broke up and neither of you wants to....but you're in a Catch 22 because you're still teenagers and can't take the relationship to the next level. And that runs a big risk because you're not learning about adult relationships and the 24/7 grind they can cause - in fact, you're not learning at all about them.
I know how hard this is, but I honestly think the two of you need to risk your feelings and explore other relationships. In some cases, one of the people moves to where the other is, but sadly you're both way too young to take a step of that magnitude, even if it was possible.
A lot of men use avoidance, it is a natural defense mechanism. But by not talking about your problems, it seems like you two are only putting a band aide on the problem, which easily comes off when he goes away. He probably doesn't want to spend the little bit of time he has with you in person fighting... after all, I am sure you both anticipate seeing one another after being apart so why ruin the moment? however... even though you are happy, the problems are going to keep coming back up if you don't find a way to resolve them. I can't tell you how to resolve your relationship problems, nor do I know what they are.
Another issue it sounds like you are having is that you are over-analyzing the relationship and it's feelings so much that you are clouding who you are and the person your boyfriend came to love. I know that it's tough when you love someone.... you are paranoid that anything you do or say could ruin it... you love someone so much you are terrified to lose them. It sounds like you could use a break from carrying all of the weight of the relationship's problems. Talk about this with him... let him know that you feel like you worry about the relationship too much and apologize for creating a lot of drama. I realize that it's a two way street and he probably has made mistakes as well... but it takes a strong person to stand up and admit their own faults and it usually results in opening a door for the other person to confess their own doings.... I am not guaranteeing that you will get an apology in return, but at least he would see that you are making efforts to get back to being more relaxed and carefree about the relationship. Men love consistency and calmness in a relationship just as much as women do. If a relationship is going to work out long term, it is going to take a lot of love, forgiveness and an open heart and mind. When he talks, try not to cloud your ears with emotions and really listen and take in the information THEN process it. It's so hard to do but practicing being a good listener and patient communicator will make you a better partner and you will find it easier to get to the root of your problems together.
Next time the old problems come up, try and approach it in a new way instead of the usual arguing or hurting one each others feelings. Tell him that you would like to understand where he is coming from and help to sooth the pains that he has with the problems rather than pointing fingers at one another anymore. Be super calm and loving when you approach him and try not to re-hash things too much. Show him a positive attitude towards things getting better because a relationship that lacks optimism is often times going to get stuck in ruts... Take a step back from this and take some time for yourself. Take up some new hobbies, yoga, sports, swimming, anything relaxing you can share with some friends. Taking time for yourself will help your stress levels and assist in your calmness about the relationship as well as give you new stuff to talk about with him. Men are attracted to women that are outgoing, social and have stuff going on in their lives.... get a new makeover to help boost your self confidence and shoot him some pretty pics of yourself. You could hold up a sign in the pic that says ';can't wait until you come home!!!'; on top of having a new sexy look.... that will really get his attention back on you rather than stuck in ';I don't know you anymore'; land.....
When you try to control your relationship too much, it can get out of control and you can lose your sense of self. Try to relax and collect some new, positive thoughts about recovering with your beau and getting back to the love you two have shared all along. :) good luck sweety...... things should start to look up when he gets home... long distance relationships are straining!!!I'm 18 and in a long distance relationship...preferable guy advice but girls are welcome too?
Well your boyfriend is moody.
I reckon your better off without him.. you need someone that will treat you much better than that.
It seems like your a pile of shite to him.
Hi. My first long term relationship was similar, except we were a bit older and he had to move away for 2 years. And I think I reacted much as your bf, because we only got to see each other one weekend every month or two, and I felt this big pressure for it to be perfect. If had cramps, tough - I had to be on my A Game! If I was bothered by work crap, tough...why waste our together time whining? So I couldn't be natural.
And I think what's happening is natural. You guys never broke up and neither of you wants to....but you're in a Catch 22 because you're still teenagers and can't take the relationship to the next level. And that runs a big risk because you're not learning about adult relationships and the 24/7 grind they can cause - in fact, you're not learning at all about them.
I know how hard this is, but I honestly think the two of you need to risk your feelings and explore other relationships. In some cases, one of the people moves to where the other is, but sadly you're both way too young to take a step of that magnitude, even if it was possible.
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